Batman Beats Spidy


Spider-Man and Batman arrive at a Manhattan bank at the same time, both responding to a hostage situation. Once they realize that neither the Joker nor the Scorpion is responsible for the hold-up, the two heroes turn on themselves, while a confused SWAT team handles the mundane crisis alone. After Spider-Man mocks Batman’s costume (“I can barely see your little chest bat”) and throaty voice (“Can I get you a lozenge?”), Batman presses a button on his utility belt, causing three billion dollars worth of sonic grenades, bionic bats and satellite lasers to appear and beat Spidey into submission. As the broken Peter Parker, silently vowing to never piss off another tech-happy billionaire ever again, squeaks out a prayer to his Uncle Ben, Bruce Wayne realizes that his foe was also orphaned at a young age and breaks off his assault. He takes Peter to a local pub where they commiserate over a few pints, and Bruce gives Peter a three-hour lecture about the nature of fear. Everything looks peachy… that is, until they get into the inevitable “Aunt May vs. Alfred” debate, and an angry Bruce ruins Peter’s credit rating. Winner: Batman

Superman Spiderman Batman (1280 x 1024)

And so you see, although Spiderman has super human powers, the database shows Batman wins a head to head, face to face combat.  All those fancy gadgets and expensive devices must have fianlly paid off.  Batman WINS!  Who do you think would win?

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